Ueda clapped his hands together and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as he concentrated to pray. And after a few second, he opened his eyes and forced himself to smile.

“Merry Christmas Ryo.”

It was almost two weeks after the accident that took Ryo’s life away and Ueda seemed had lost his life too.  

He returned to his car and noticed that he had accidently left his cellphone on the passenger seat. He reached out for it and saw on the screen that he had 8 miscalls. All of them are from Kamenashi. He sighed, knowing perfectly that he was late and that would probably be the reason as to why his band mate desperately called him.

He didn’t bother to call Kame back, and just drove his car away from the cemetery. He knew Kame would scold him badly and the manager would probably throw tantrums at him, but he couldn’t care less. As far as he knew he didn’t even care if Johhny fired him. What’s the point of making a living when you had lost your reason to live?

Ueda stopped his car as the traffic light in turned red. He looked around the street and saw how glittery the city was that night. Tonight was Christmas eve and the entire city was celebrating it. He also noticed how happy people around him was, chatting and laughing with their friends and loved ones. Envy, that would be the word to describe what he felt right now. He had spent years, trying to hide his feeling towards Ryo. Afraid of what the latter would think if he knew that Ueda had secretly loved him. Mockery and rejection would be the first thing he received from Ryo, or so he had thought.

But that night, he found out that it was actually the exact opposite. He had confessed his feeling to Ryo, and he was sure Ryo had confessed back. He laughed and thought he might have lost his mind. Could Ryo that night, the one that had so sweetly smiled to him and said his goodbye, be a ghost? He didn’t believe in ghost, before that night he didn’t even believe in any magical creature-

“Ouch!” a smack on his head woke him up from his thought.

“I AM a magical creature!” a beautiful girl exclaimed on the passenger seat next to him.

“Inka!”

“What do you mean you don’t believe in magical creature?” Inka frowned at him and pouted.

“Y-you were reading my mind?”

“Obviously, duh!” Inka said, still pouting and frowning.

Ueda laughed. “I didn’t mean you.” he tapped the girl on her head.

“Err…Ueda-kun, you might want to start driving again?” Inka pointed at the traffic light which Ueda noticed had turned to green. Ueda quickly pressed the gas pedal with his foot and started driving again.

“Inka…” Ueda started after a brief of silence.

“Hmm?”

“Did you know that that night… Ryo has…”

“Passed away?”

Ueda weakly nodded.

“Yeah, I knew.”

“Was that why you came? And asked me about my feeling towards him?”

Inka smiled . “Maybe.”

“How did-” before Ueda could finish his question, he was cut by Inka.

“I was with him when the accident happened.”

“Huh?”

“I knew he was going to die. I turned myself into a human and sat next to him on that train. We talked about so many things. I even made him realized his feeling towards you.” Inka turned his head to look at Ueda and smiled, “don’t ask me how, I’m just that good.” She grinned.

“He was still alive when the train crashed. I held his hand and told him that everything would be okay. But he knew he didn’t have much time left as he saw the blood that was coming from his head. For a few second before he closed his eyes he said:

I wish I could tell him how I truly feel and say good bye to him

When I heard his last words, I cried. I knew I wasn’t allowed to, but I just could let you guys be separated for good without realizing each other feeling, so I-“

“You sent Ryo’s spirit to come and see me?” Ueda finished Inka’s sentence.

Inka nodded.

Ueda stopped his car. Inka looked around and realized they were in the park, the same park that she made Ueda meet Ryo’s spirit. Ueda parked his car and stepped out. Inka soon followed him and walked to where Ueda was standing now. He was standing in the middle of the frozen ground, and he slowly started to spin around and danced.

“Ueda-kun, what are you doing?” Inka asked, confused by his human friend’s behavior.

“Dancing!” Ueda answered a matter of factly. “Come on! Join me! it’s a beautiful night!” Ueda spun around and laughed.

Inka tilted her head in confusion but she finally smiled ad walked closer to Ueda, following his movement and danced along with him.

They danced for a while and laughing as they did so. Inka was glad that Ueda was laughing happily. She thought Ueda was not sad anymore and that he had moved on. But when Ueda’s laugh was getting harder and he almost sounded like a crazy man, Inka knew something was wrong. She wasn’t sure if Ueda was actually laughing now, in fact it almost sounded like…he was crying?

“Ueda-kun…”

“I’m sorry Inka. I tried to be strong. I really did. But …I just ..I just couldn’t…I’m not that strong. I’m weak Inka…I’m weak without Ryo…” Ueda said as he fell down helplessly on to the cold ground and tears started to roll down from his eyes.

Inka hugged him and Ueda cried on her embrace. “I missed him Inka, I want to see him. I wish I could just turn back time see him before he died. I wish I could just tell him that I love him.”

“Ueda-kun…”

---

Ueda woke up panting and sweating. He had another nightmare. He always had the same nightmare almost every night. He dreamed about Ryo again, and how he had lost him, not being able to save him from the accident.

He looked around and recognized his surrounding. He was in his room. But how did he manage to be there? The last thing he remembered was that he was crying in his fairy’s arm the night before. Did Inka take him home?

He looked at the clock on the night stand next to his bed. It was seemed that he had managed to oversleep as the clock showed 11:30 am. He sighed as he propped himself to sit up and rubbed his eyes. His eyes seemed to refuse to open, and he massaged the bridge of his nose. He was feeling a bit dizzy too.  

He decided to sleep again and was about to close his eyes when suddenly his phone rang.  He reached for the said item on the night stand and sighed again as he saw Kamenashi’s name on the screen. He knew Kame was calling him to yell at him for not attending the show he was supposed to attend yesterday. He groggily opened his cell phone and answered it “Moshi-moshi?”

“Ueda! Where the hell are you?” a scream soon was heard from the other line

“At home.” he answered tiredly.

“What? Are you crazy? We’re waiting for hours for you to come and you’re telling me you’re still home? Get your ass here right this second Ueda Tatsuya!”

“Where?” he asked, confused as to why his band mates were waiting for him. Did he promise to meet them somewhere?

“Where? Ueda I swear I’m gonna kill you once you get here! Do you forget we have a photoshoot today?” Kame screamed again. And Ueda could swear his was going to be deaf from Kame’s screaming.

“What photoshoot? It’s Christmas Kame, normal people have day off on Christmas.”

“Christmas is not in another two weeks, what the hell are you talking about? Stop making excuses and get your lazy ass here before I go there and drag you myself!” with his last scream, Kame hung up.

“What the hell?!” Ueda scowled at Kame’s weird call. He shrugged and rubbed his face again before grouchily got up from his bed and headed to the bathroom. .

He decided to play along with Kame. It’s not like he had any special plan for Christmas anyway. His family left for Europe like they always did on Christmas. They asked him to come along but he refused, for he didn’t have anything to celebrate. Not with Ryo’s gone.

So after he took a quick bath and got dressed, he took his car key and left his apartment.

He pressed the arrow button on the wall and waited for the elevator door to open. A few seconds later, a ting sound was heard as the elevator opened and revealed an old lady who apparently was having trouble with the big tree on her hand.

“Ah Ueda-kun.” The lady greeted him.

“Obaachan. Do you need help?” Ueda kindly offered as he knew his old neighbor was having trouble in carrying the tree.

“If you don’t mind.” The lady smiled and took Ueda’s offer.

“What’s this tree for?” Ueda asked as he hauled the tree with difficulty.

“That is a silly question Ueda-kun. Of course it’s for my Christmas tree. I know it’s too big for an old woman who lives alone like me. But I like this tree the moment I saw it and decided to buy it.” The lady answered with a smile.

“But I thought you already have a Christmas tree. I helped you decorate it remember?”

“What are you talking about? I just bought this tree. How could I decorate it with you if I just bought it?” The lady chuckled. “Ah, you must’ve mistaken that for last year. Well you always help me decorate my tree Ueda-kun. Thank you for that.”

They finally reached to the old lady’s apartment. Ueda helped her to bring the tree inside, and to his surprise the lady was right. There was no Christmas tree anywhere in the small apartment.

“Thank you so much Ueda-kun.” The lady smiled and bowed in grateful for Ueda’s help.

“A-ah…yes, you are welcomed.” Ueda bowed back.

Ueda tilted his head in confusion as the door closed in front of him. He was sure he had helped the old lady decorate her tree last week. Maybe she just forgot, after all she is very old and it’s normal for an old lady like her to forget things. But how come he couldn’t see any tree in her apartment? Where did that tree go? He shrugged as he continued to walk and once again stopped in front of t he elevator to press the button again.

--

He was more than late when he reached the studio. He was confused by the scene around him, it felt like de ja vu for him. But he couldn’t remember when he had experienced it and to him the day kept getting weirder.

“Uedaaa ~~” was the first sound that welcomed him the moment he entered the practice room.

“You! Thanks to you we missed our schedule for the photoshoot! The manager was furious!” As he had expected, Kame welcomed him with a fury.

“Sorry. I didn’t know there’s a photoshoot today.” He mumbled his apology as he was afraid of Kame’s death glare on him.

“How could you not know? I reminded you yesterday!” Kame said, still screaming at him.

“Calm down Kame. Ueda is here now. We should get practice so we can perform well on tonight’s show.” Jin said to calm his boyfriend down.

“What show?” Ueda innocently asked as he was confused. No one told him there was going to be any show. As he remembered they shouldn’t even come to work. It’s holiday for God’s sake.

“What show???? Ueda! Argghhh..!” Kame palmed his face as he was getting desperate at his friend.

“Kame, babe…..calm down.” Jin said again and kissed his boyfriend to shut him up.

“Eww~~ spare us with the PDA please!” Koki protested at the view of Akame kissing in front of them.

“Shut up!” Kame furiously said as Jin broke their kiss. “Now let’s get to practice before manager-san yell at us again.” Kame said, his anger seemed to be decreasing thanks to Jin smart and perverted method.

Ueda was still clueless at what was going on. He kept asking his band mates why did they need to practice and what kind of show they were supposed to perform in. But when Kame yelled again, he knew he should just shut his mouth.

He had a feeling something wasn’t right. The practice and photoshoot on Christmas day, The undecorated tree of his neighbor’s, and people kept telling him it’s not Christmas yet. Could it be?

Nah. He shook that thought away. It’s just impossible. He couldn’t just go back in time couldn’t he? He shrugged that silly thought of his away and mentally smacked himself for thinking such.

But when the company car drove him and his group to a building so familiar to him, he couldn’t help but to think that silly thought again. He was at the same studio where he and his group did a performance for Christmas Special nearly two weeks ago. The night the accident happened.

It couldn’t be.

“J-Jin?” He stuttered, calling his friend’s name who was standing next to him. There were waiting at the backstage for their turn.

“Yeah?” Jin answered.

“What date is it?”

“What?”

“I’m asking you what date today is.”

“Err…I forgot. I think it’s...” Jin paused to remember “December 9.” He continued.

Ueda’s eyes widened in shock, “Y-you’re...kidding right?”

“Nope. I’m sure it’s December 9. See?” Jin took his cell phone and showed the display screen to Ueda whose eyes almost popped out as he looked at the screen. It was definitely said 9 December 2008.

He did. It couldn’t be but he did. He managed to go back in time. But was it even possible?  Was this a dream? But if he was back to this day, that would mean that Ryo…

“Jin, give me your pho ne!” he requested not so politely as he tried to take Jin’s phone from his band mate’s hand.

“Eh? What for?”

“Just give me your phone!” he asked again and this time he managed to snatch the said phone from Jin’s hand.

 “Hey!” Jin protested but Ueda didn’t care. He searched for Ryo’s name in the phone book and was glad when he finally found it.

It took 3 seconds for him to calm himself down before pressing the call button. But his effort was futile as he could still feel his heart beating faster, waiting anxiously for Ryo to answer his call.

“What is it  Bakanishi?” a familiar voice greeted him and he swore his heart just refused to beat. It was Ryo’s voice, it was impossible but it’s definitely Ryo’s voice. This could only mean one thing, Ryo was still alive.

“R-Ryo…”

“Eh? Who’s this?” the voice on the other line asked as he didn’t recognize Ueda’s voice.

Ueda stayed silent, he couldn’t believe his ears. This was a dream!

“Moshi-moshi? Hello? Bakanishi is that you?”

“Ueda! Lets go!” Kame’s voice snapped him out of his thought. Jin quickly grabbed his phone and growled at Ueda for taking his phone.

Ueda unwillingly followed the rest of the member to enter the studio and started the recording. He couldn’t concentrate well during the performance and he almost missed his line if it wasn’t for Kame who nudged him as he could sense Ueda’s was lost in his thought and not paying any attention on the show.

It was a long 2 hours for Ueda but finally the recording was over. Ueda quickly walked over to where Jin was standing.

“Jin, give your phone again!” he asked, which was more like an order to Jin.

“Not again Uebo.” Jin refused but soon surrendered at Ueda’s death glare. He reluctantly took out his phone and gave it to Ueda.

Ueda grabbed the phone from Jin’s hand and quickly pressed the dial button.

“Bakanishi! Stop playing games with your phone! If you don’t-”

“It’s Ueda.” He quickly cut Ryo.

“What?”

“It’s me, Ueda Tatsuya”

“Donkey face? What are you doing with Jin’s phone?”

“That’s not important. Where are you now?”

“Osaka obviously. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Are you going to Tokyo tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m actually at the station now. Why?”

“Don’t take that train!”

“What?”

“What ever you do don’t take the Nozomi train. Take another train!”

“What the hell are you talking about? Why shouldn’t I take the Nozomi?”

“Just trust me and do it! Take another train, any train but not the Nozomi!”

“Is this one of your sick joke donkey? Cos I swear it isn’t funny-”

“I’m not pulling a prank on you. Just listen Ryo, don’t take that train!”

“Well it’s kind of too late for that. The only available train is the last Nozomi. And I’m taking that train. I need to be in Tokyo by tonight. I have an early performance to do tomorrow.”

“No no no…! You’re not listening to me. Just don’t take that train. Get a bus or anything. Just don’t take that train!” Ueda was getting desperate. Ryo wouldn’t listen to a word he said.

“I know you’re crazy Ueda but seriously, this is getting creepy. I don’t need this crap.” With that, Ryo hung up

“What? Wait! Nishikido!” He screamed at Jin’s phone the moment he heard the line was cut.

Ueda cursed under his breath. “Damn you Ryo! Why couldn’t you just listen to me?” he whispered as he dialed Ryo’s number again

“What?!” Ryo answered in an annoyed tone.

“Nishikido please, I know it’s sound weird, but trust me. Do not take that train!”

“And why is that?” Ueda could feel Ryo was raising his eyebrows.

“Because….just …look I can’t explain this to you. But please just trust me okay?”

“I don’t have time for this bullshit. I gotta go.”

“No wait, Ryo!”

Ueda sighed. The line was dead again. What should he do? Ryo wouldn’t t listen to hi m. he couldn’t just tell the Osaka man that he just magically return from the future and that he knew Ryo was going to die if he’s to take that train tonight now could he?

“Are you done with my phone Uebo?” Jin’s voice snapped him back from his thought.

“Huh? Oh….yeah I’m done.” He answered. He took out his own phone and he put Ryo’s number to his phonebook. “Here, thanks.” He gave Jin’s phone back to the pouting owner.

“Jin?”

“Yeah?”

“How long does it take from here to Osaka by car?”

“Eh?” Jin paused to think, “Around 4 to 5 hours. Why?” Damn! He wouldn’t be able to make it.

Told him that he will pick him up with his car, he was sure he could stop Ryo from boarding that train.

“Ueda where are you going?” Jin asked confusingly as he saw his friend suddenly dashed out from the room. But he heard no reply from the older man as Ueda was soon gone and Jin could only scratch his head in confusion. What a weird friend he had.

Ueda ran as fast as he can and stopped the first Taxi that was passing by.

“To Johnny’s Jimusho!” he said to the driver. Why did he park his car at his office anyway? He should just go to the studio with his own car.

He was lucky it was not that far from the studio to the Jimusho building. After paying the Taxi and not bothering to wait for his change, he quickly ran to the parking lot. He stepped into his car and started the engine. It was almost 10 pm as he looked at his watch and cursed again. The last Nozomi train to Tokyo should depart now. He drove his car as fast as he can and took out his phone to dial Ryo’s number.

“Moshi-moshi?” he felt relieved as he heard Ryo’s voice again

“Where are you now?”

“Ueda?! What the hell? Stop bothering me!”

“Ryo please. I’ll stop calling you if you would just listen to me. Don’t take that train. I’m on my way to Osaka now with my car. I’ll pick you up and take you back to Tokyo as soon as possible, I promised you won’t be late for tomorrow’s performance. Just stay there okay?”

“Why are you doing his Ueda?”

“I don’t have time to explain. Just listen to me okay? Please. You can mock me or tease me or insult me, heck you can humiliated me in front of everyone tomorrow and I won’t even try to fight back. Just please listen to me, just this once Nishikido!” Ueda begged. Desperate at Ryo’s stubbornness.

Ryo laughed.“Well it’s not like I haven’t done that already. Besides, it’s kind of too late now. I’m already on the train.”

“What?” Ueda almost hit the car in front of him as he heard Ryo’s reply.

“I’m on the train now. I’m on my way to Tokyo.”

“T-The Nozomi one?”

“Yes. The Nozomi one.”

“Get off that train!”

“What?”

“Just get off of that train! “

“It’s a shinkansen! How am I supposed to just get off? I haven’t planned on killing my self yet donkey!”

But you would die if you don’t Ryo. Oh God what should he do now? Ryo was just too stubborn to listen to him.

“Ryo…”

Ueda could hear Ryo sighed. “What now Ueda?”

He needed to say something, anything that could make Ryo listen to him. “I love you.”

There was a long pause and he didn’t know what Ryo was thinking. He just wished that the younger man wouldn’t hang up on him again.  “I love you Ryo. I’ve been in love with you for years. I tried to forget about you because I know you wouldn’t reciprocate my feeling and that you hate me. But after all this years, I’m still in love with you. No matter what you said to me, no matter how bad your insult was, no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you. I just wish I could say this properly, but I guess it’s too late now.”

“U-ueda…” There was finally a response from the other line. He mustn’t give up. Ryo was till talking to him on the phone, which meant that the Osakan was still very much alive and he still had a chance. As long as the accident hadn’t happened yet, he still had a chance.

“Get off at Ueno! I’ll pick you up there.”

“This train doesn’t stop at Ueno.”

“Then get off at any station! Just don’t get off at Tokyo station okay?”

“Why?”

“Damn it Ryo! I just confessed to you! Now if you want to mock me and tease me for that, you better get off that train before it reaches Tokyo.”

“As amused as I am hearing your confession princess, I still don’t find a good reason why I should listen to you.”

“Damn you Nishikido!”

“Shit! My battery is low. I’ll talk to you again later. And don’t worry I WILL tease you at the Jimusho tomorrow. You can count on that. Jya!”

“Ryo, no wait!” but the line was cut once again. “If you don’t get off now, there won t be any tomorrow Ryo…”

Ueda stopped his car when he reached Tokyo station. He ran to the building and hurriedly looked at the time table. There, he read that the Nozomi train would stop at Yokohama Station before it stopped at Tokyo Station.

“I still have time.” He convinced himself and he quickly ran back to his car.

He drove his car as fast as he can. Not caring the speed limit he broke and just wished there wouldn’t be any cops at this hour to stop him. He couldn’t believe his ability in driving this fast as he arrived in Yokohama in less than an hour.

He stopped at the Yokohama station and didn’t even bother to park his car. He left it in front of the lobby and just ran inside. He looked at the information board and saw that the Nozomi train from Tokyo will arrive in 3 minutes.

“Shit!” he cursed, he was almost late. Ueda bought a ticket so he can go inside to the platform, he was lucky there wasn’t any queue line. He quickly ran to the platform and he knew he had set a new record for running. As he finally arrived at the platform, he felt at ease for he was just in time for the train to arrive.

He scanned the car one by one but he couldn’t see any sign of Ryo. He needed to find the younger man before the train leaves again. He only had lest then 2 minutes to find him. He called the other’s name as he scanned the train. But the Nozomi train has 12 cars, and he didn’t manage to check on every car as the train finally started to move. “No wait! Don’t leave yet! Ryo! Ryo where the hell are you?! Ryo!”

He ran next to the train, screaming Ryo’s name over and over again. But he just couldn’t beat the speeding bullet train. In a brief second, the train was gone.

“Ryo…” he called the younger man’s name weakly as he felt his tears slowly rolling down. He had given a chance to save Ryo, but he failed.

Ueda dropped himself helplessly on the station’s floor. He had failed. He didn’t manage to stop Ryo from boarding the train and now he also failed at making Ryo get off the cursed train.

“You know if anyone recognizes you here, you’d be on tabloids for screaming like a mad man.”

Ueda eyes widened as he heard the voice behind him. He quickly turned around and he was shocked as he saw Ryo standing with a smirk on his face.

“Ryo!” he didn’t believe his eyes. “You…you got off!”

“Yea well, I have to, since I heard a crazy man screaming at my name. I didn’t want to draw any attention. Although I think it was too late for that, people are staring at us.” Ryo replied as he looked at the people around them.

Ueda got up immediately and Ryo was a bit surprised as he felt Ueda suddenly hugged him. “Woah…easy now princess, people are staring at us.”

“I don’t care! You’re here! You’re alive.” Ueda said, not letting go his hug on Ryo.

“Huh?” Ryo confused at what Ueda was saying. “There really is something wrong with your head.”

“Yeah..What ever Nishikido,” Ueda smiled as he pulled back. “Call me crazy or whatever. You are free to call me anything! But I’m glad you’re here!” Ueda hugged him again.

“Donkey, you seriously need to get off of me before anyone takes our picture and we’d be on tabloids tomorrow.”

“Ugh…right, sorry” Ueda finally let Ryo go and he smiled at Ryo who was surprisingly smilling back at him.

“Let’s get out of here. I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten anything and I need to eat something. And you owe me an explanation for your stupid crazy act of yours tonight. ” Ryo took Ueda’s hand and dragged him out of there.

Ueda smiled contently and nodded. “Sure! My treat!”

“Damn right it is!” The two men walked together and Ueda smiled as Ryo was still holding his hand, although more like dragging him but he was still glad he could feel the warm hand on his. The warmth proved that Ryo was alive.

“I can’t believe you drove all the way here to Yokohama. I guess you love me that much eh?” Ryo teased him as they reached Ueda’s car. That was when Ueda remembered what he had said to Ryo. He had confessed to him. He was panic before and he couldn’t think of anything else to say to make Ryo listen to him.

“Ano… Ryo…can we forget what I said earlier?” he asked as he opened the door.

“About you loving me?” Ryo raised his eyebrow in the sexiest way that made Ueda cursed again under his breath. Damn Ryo and his sexy expression. “Hell no!” Ryo laughed before he opened the door to Ueda’s car and stepped inside. “Just drive Princess. There’s no way I’m letting you getting away with this.”

Ueda sighed before he started his engine. He knew e would definitely have to bare with Ryo teasing him every chance he got. But he smiled nonetheless. He knew how the sexy Osaka man felt anyway, and he just had to wait until Ryo confess back.

When he was a bout to drive away, he saw a girl standing not far from his car. She was smiling to him and Ueda smiled back as he recognized who that girl was.

Thank you Inka.

A/N: There you go

resha_hime

Title: Part Of Me
Pairing: RyoDa
Genre: Supposed to be crack...but i totally failed >__<
Summary: Drunken night and a fairy...what's the worst that could happen?

A/N: It's the final everyone! ..........at least i think it is...XDDDD

 

A/N: Whuahahahaha.....after what it seems to be forever, i finally update this fic ^_^. hope you still remember this. If not, oh well..... i'll just give you the link to the prev ones. It's unbeta-ed, since I just finished writing it and i want to post it on Tat-chan's bday, so please excuse all the mistakes and happy bday Tat-chan!!!